Insight From Nintendo’s Corporate Suggestion Box
Can I get a new uniform PLEASE?!? - Mario
Self-help seminars on avoiding edges - Green Koopa
Casual fridays. Harsher punishments for sexual harassment and kidnapping - Zelda Peach Daisy and Rosalina
Bring back speech therapy - Link
a;kkjaisdjgeooiawn;xlkja;goiwjetr - Donkey Kong (Via e-mail we think)
I don’t know who’s doing it; but SOMEONE keeps moving my items. I had to go down four floors to the mail room just to break into a vent and climb my way back up to accounting. I could’ve avoided all of it if someone hadn’t “misplaced” the beam I needed to open the door! - Samus
Gimme back my damn plane!!! - Fox
… - Olimar
Why only one lunch break?!? - Kirby
More maps. More colors. More shared benefits for my partner and I. - Tingle
Seriously! STOP MOVING MY ITEMS!!! We only get three minutes for bathroom breaks and I do NOT want to spend it looking for the freaking bomb upgrade to blow the hatch on the bathroom! Also QUIT PUTTING HATCHES ON THE BATHROOM! - Samus
Make a game all about Nazis. Make them the good guys and take over the world - That new blue spiky-haired intern
Someone was in my parking space. I’m not sure who it was but tell them to look for the smoldering flames where their car was. - Capt. Falcon
Can we do something about all the pokemon running around here?!? The blackout was bad enough; but I gotta draw the line when my desk is set on fire and I am unable to do anything about because my mind has just been blanked by a freaking psychic! - Greg in HR (Found in the trash)
[Nintendo of America Number 1! Super happy fun working with great American team! No complaint here! Keep up the good work and I make awesome fight with sword!] - Marth (loosely translated)
I’ve tried to be civil I really have. I’ve turned the other cheek countless times and people still aren’t paying me ANY respect. So this is a last warning: touch my stuff one more time and I will bring the dark reckoning of a woman scorn down on all of your heads. You will all rue the day you crossed me. Just know that should you all decide to provoke me further I WILL MAKE YOU PAY!!! On a lighter note: great job to the company softball team on their win last night over Bungie. - Samus
I could use a hand in the daycare. Taking care of all these kids is starting to wear down on me - Yoshi
I’ll be back - Found on a post-it attached to Samus suit after security escorted her out.
Stop giving out doctorates to people who haven’t earned them! I’m still working on Mario’s malpractice suit! - Phoenix Wright
More NickToons games!!! - Every stupid 8 year-old ever
-MHJR
