How I imagine Brady received the “sex talk”
“Now son, that’s a lovely sweater by the way, when a man and a woman love each other. Well, usually a man and a woman, but occasionally an animal or machine. Well, not like a robot… No, not like a washing mac-… well actually, that one works. But I digress, when a man and a woman and maybe a, I don’t know, we’ll say pterodactyl love each other they… I don’t know, it was just an arbitrary animal I picked at random. Yes, I know they’re extinct, but… Ok, OK! Look, we’ll just start over. When a mommy and daddy love each other very much they decide to have a baby. What? Why would they want another one? No, they don’t have one yet. They can still be mommies and daddies even if they don’t… Alright, we’re clearly missing the point here. Ok boys, you know what boys are, right? And girls, you know those things too. Ok, well when they decide it’s time to have a baby, they’ll get together with any combination of each other, a puppet, a dinosaur (or person dressed up as a dinosaur), mechanical device, horse, alien, or Eskimo and they’ll umm…hug without clothes. This will usually… I KNOW horses aliens and dinosaurs don’t wear clothes but that’s not the point, no one is wearing clothes here. PUT YOUR SWEATER BACK ON BRADY!!!! Now, this hug usually goes on for about 10-30 minutes or until the camera goes out of focus while zoomed in on the girl’s face. After that, a few months go by and *POOF* a baby is born, just like you. What? No. I’ve never met a pterodactyl, some people just… Brady… BRADY… aw screw it, go on mommy’s computer and type in this address, it’ll fill in some of the blanks.”
